Mark 10:1-12

This is one of those passages of Scripture that you'd almost as soon not touch. It deals with marriage. To be more specific, it has more to do with divorce. I think that Jesus must have been highly grieved by this. The Pharisees came to him to test him with a really tragic human problem and approach to a question that should have directed them back to God's ideal for the answer. Instead, they tried again to trap him in a nuance of Torah.

I have far too many friends and relatives who have experienced divorce. None will tell you it was pleasant. None would tell you that it was something trite. As I read about divorce in Scripture and read through some comments on the subject from other authors I respect on the subject, I see a few things come through loud and clear.

First, God's ideal is marriage. It is two-becoming-one flesh. It is spirit, mind, and body union. As God looks at a married couple, He looks at one person. I think it's much the same as when we look to Him. He is three, but He is One. The result of such a union is another person, the ultimate expression of the love of two that have become one. It is a union God created, not man. It is not something that should be separated by man, especially on a whim, as it is attacks what He created.

Second, divorce is a concession to sin. Like sin, which is rebellion against God, it results in tearing apart God's creation. God created earth. Man has consistently, throughout history, selfishly destroyed God's creation. Divorce is kind of like a model of what has happened on earth. It is a concession to sin on a couple of fronts. For one, even as Moses wrote what he wrote in Deuteronomy 24 (which is what the Pharisees were referring to here), it was a concession in the Torah to the hard-heartedness of man (i.e. his self-centeredness in marrying her and putting her away just because she displeased him).

Third, Jesus is teaching that it should be avoided if at all possible. The only real exception He ever makes is in the case of adultery. In this case (which is a pretty close approximation to the other gospels' accounts) it could be interpreted as divorcing for the purpose of marrying someone else, which would be adulterous in God's eyes.

Now this is tough. I can understand why the disciples, in Matthew 19:10, would say it's better not to even get married if that is the situation between a man and wife. I think we have to be a little careful here not to pass judgment. Divorce is a sin concession... but it was a concession that was made. Where I start having difficulty is where one party divorces another and makes that party a victim of adultery. I think it's appropriate to read the Bible's total testimony on the subject. If you just stick with Matthew 5:31-32, for instance, sexual immorality is the only reason to divorce someone without it being adultery. When you get to Matthew 19 and Mark 10, it seems to read divorcing and marrying someone else (or for the purpose of marrying someone else).

I think I'm getting close to splitting hairs here. If I'm going to stick with a plain, straightforward reading of the Word, there's a couple of takeaways I can draw.

1. Every effort should be made to avoid divorce and preserve marriage in just about every circumstance. God made it, not people. It's not to be taken tritely.
2. Really the only biblical purpose for divorce and re-marriage is sexual immorality (adultery, or "defiling the marriage bed"). That's tough to accept, but it's a pretty plain instruction in Scripture.
3. If adultery hasn't happened, but the marriage is miserable, I don't think that the parties are mandated to just endure misery. If being apart is the only option, separation seems to be an option (look at 1 Corinthians 7:10-14), but divorce isn't sanctioned at all except for the case of adultery.

Think about it. Jesus has had just about every reason to "divorce" mankind. We have, as sinners, committed adultery against him. We have done things that are extremely displeasing to him. All sin is rebellion against God, and we've all sinned. Yet he still endures with us and loves us to the bitter end. In the end, he is not the one who divorces us. We have to divorce him in order to be eternally separated from him. So maybe it's for us to avoid hard-heartedness, be patient and enduring in marriage, and do everything we can possibly do, with everything at our disposal, to preserve what God has created.

Father, make me patient as You are patient with me. Strengthen and bless my marriage, showing me every option and opportunity to be strengthened. Be close to those who are having difficulty, and show them the same. Fling laboring harvesters into your harvest field today... begin with me!